South Wales Coaching Network – March

02.03.2017

We headed to the Capital on St.David’s Day and Alison Love led us through a conflict management coaching model.

We began by discussing what conflict management coaching is, when and why it should be used. It was interesting that, when asked to describe a conflict situation, the entire group instantly highlighted negative connotations.

Tension, blame and frustration were some of the terms we associate with conflict. We often forget the conflict can be a catalyst for positive change. Conflict is inevitable. It is neither negative nor positive but how we deal with it determines if it constructive or destructive.

Conflict coaching can help a coachee to:

• Develop understanding of how responses to conflict and changes in attitude and behaviour can impact.
• Prepare for a challenging conversation or with another person or group.
• Develop stronger conflict management skills, for example in performance management and managing as a leader.
• Promote real learning and self-reflection.
• Reconcile conflict situations by improving understanding and enabling individuals to move forward more positively.

We all see situations differently – the only way to deal with conflict is to try to understand an individual’s perspective. With this in mind, we broke into groups and practiced using The Cinergy model to structure a conflict coaching conversation.

Using this technique, we explored the ‘Not so’ Merry go Round of conflict. We spent a lot of time understanding the different aspects of internal conflict. The coachee was required to be really honest in their self reflection to identify key triggers and appreciate their impact.

The coachee was then encouraged to view the conflict from the opposing point of view. By investigating and questioning the impact of their own behaviour and the perception of the dispute from all positions, the coachee was able to identify actions that they could be accountable for, thus moving the situation forward.

The conversation was challenging and uncomfortable at times but the exploratory nature of this technique ensured a really transparent and insightful exchange.

Thank you, Alison for a very thought provoking and engaging session.